Yoga and the Art of Loosening the Grip

This bird "loosened its grip" by opening its wings, and voila! - it caught the watermelon my husband tossed in the air! I guess a case can be made that when one "loosens the grip and opens one's 'hands'," abundance arrives in spades.

I’m just about 7 weeks into living in my new apartment. While I’ve made progress in unpacking, I still have a way to go. Having lived 63+ years on this earth, I’ve accumulated my fair share of earthly possessions. So, the 5th yama (1st limb of yoga, things one should not do) which talks about “aparigraha” has been on my mind a lot lately. Swami Jnaneshvara Bharati’s translation of aparigraha is “non-possessiveness, non-holding through senses, non-greed, non-grasping, non-indulgence, non-acquisitiveness.” And here is his commentary on this Yoga Sutra (2.39):

Aparigraha brings the past and future: When one is steadfast in non-possessiveness or non-grasping with the senses (aparigraha), there arises knowledge of the why and wherefore of past and future incarnations.

Wow! While I’d love to know more about my past and future selves, my more immediate concern is about simply creating more space in my apartment while at the same time honoring the indelible memories that many of my possessions contain. They tell the story of my life in this incarnation.

But letting go can be hard to do.

So, I draw inspiration and insight from two people. Molly Lannon Kenny (The Samarya Center) talks about aparigraha as “loosening the grip and finding freedom.” Intellectually, I can understand that. It makes sense that the less things one has, the more spaciousness one can attain. And in that spaciousness, there is physical, mental, and spiritual freedom. And Paul Dallaghan speaks of Aparigraha as “The Art of What is Needed.” He recounts a nice phrase: whatever you own really owns you. Yes, we can be bogged down by our possessions. And he also writes that in practicing aparigraha: The lack of material bondage allows the spirit to reveal itself. So, by not being so attached to our possessions, theoretically we can be more in touch with our truer identity, and perhaps the past and future incarnations that the Yoga Sutras speaks of.

As far as my own personal current decluttering is concerned, I’ve found that in order for me to “loosen the grip” I have to do two things. One is that I have to go slowly. Some things can be easily let go of fairly quickly – e.g., the face masks I accumulated these last two years that I’ll never use. (Yesterday, I ended up giving these and other personal care items to a donation drive for people currently experiencing homelessness.) But other things will take a little longer to let go of – particularly things that evoke a memory of a person or a happy experience I’ve had, like my souvenirs from my trip to Africa in 2009. So, I’m taking my time with each item, deciding whether to let go of the physical item at this time or not, and enjoying remembering the circumstances that brought that item into my life. No need to be in a hurry to let go, but rather release in a time that feels right to me. The other things I’ve discovered which is helping me to “loosen the grip” is to have a lot of compassion for myself. Letting go can be hard to do and I can offer myself a lot of compassion as I undergo this process.

But, now that I’m well into the process of letting go of physical possessions, I’m gaining more physical space in my apartment, and I’m liking that very much. I’m experiencing a gravitational pull in that direction and it’s gaining momentum.

And hopefully, as I practice “loosening the grip” on more physical possessions, it may make it easier to “loosen the grip” on some of the mental patterns I’ve held on to. For example, I’ve no doubt this process will lead me in the direction of having more forgiveness for both myself and others. We really don’t walk in other people’s shoes and so we don’t have a lot of information on what leads others to do the things that they do. But I do have a sense that when I’m not so bogged down by things that are cluttering my own mind and heart, that I can begin to have more feelings of compassion, understanding, and forgiveness for others.

Wherever you are in your life and whatever your relationship with your possessions are right now, I hope that you can slowly “loosen the grip” on the things that are no longer serving you well. Maybe some of those things can serve another human being well at the moment. If so, that would be a win-win-win situation for you, the other person, and all beings on this planet.

May you be happy, …
May you be healthy, …
May you give yourself time to “loosen the grip”, …
May you have compassion for just how hard letting go can be, …
May you enjoy the memories, …
May the spaciousness and forgiveness you create for yourself be of great benefit to ALL Beings everywhere.

Aloha and Metta, Peace and Space,
Paul Keoni Chun

Whoops, I "accidentally" "loosened the grip" on some delicious sour cream coffee cake I got at the Farmer's Market on 66th and Broadway, and look who appeared! Perhaps this is a sign of a past or future incarnation, as Yoga Sutra 2.39 might suggest?