Yoga and the Art of Practicing Love

Nature exhibiting the Art of Practicing Love

I have a fantasy about what happens when you die. In my wildest imagination, I think that at that moment we pass into an awareness of an overwhelming sense of being held in love.

Valentine’s Day is an occasion to deepen one’s relationship with one’s beloved, one’s significant other. It can also be an opportunity to deepen our love for our own selves, to honor our own beings, and to listen to the callings of our own hearts. It is an opportunity for some of our own self-loathing patterns to die, and for us to be re-born into a deepening awareness of love for self.

According to Buddhist Teachers, Narayan Liebenson Grady, the Buddha taught:

We can search this entire world over and will not find anyone more deserving of our love and compassion than our self.

And yet for many of us, this is a tricky thing as we disentangle ourselves of our occasional acts of self-hatred and self-denigration. Most if not all humans experience this from time to time. And I would say that it is our calling as yoga practitioners to try to meet those moments with self-love and compassion, best we can.

The Buddha also taught:

If you truly loved yourself, you would never harm another.

I think the Buddha is trying to get us to see the “us” in each other, that if we were to harm another it is like we are harming our own selves too. 

Also, I think the Buddha could have said too that if we truly loved ourselves, we would never think of harming our own selves. Of course, the trap is that we can commit another act of self-denigration in those moments when we make mistakes and react by calling ourselves stupid. Or even when our failure to not harm ourselves at times of stress is another opportunity for getting down on ourselves for not having responded or reacted better. Our work is to try to cultivate more compassion for ourselves in such moments. We are not alone, everyone makes mistakes and thinks less of themselves from time to time. Our work is to try to remember that.

Because the Buddha also famously taught:

Hatred is never ended by hatred, but by love alone is hatred healed. This is an eternal rule.

We see so much violence out in the larger world and we see the pileup of hatred being responded to with more hatred. And where has that gotten us? More suffering, both internally and collectively. So, our work is to start by healing the hatred within first, and trying to meet it with love.

Why is this important? Because according to the Dalai Lama:

If a person has never encountered love toward himself or herself from any quarter, it is a very sad thing.  But if that person can meet even one person who will show unconditional love – simple acceptance and compassion – if he knows that he is an object of someone else's affection and love, it is bound to have an impact, and this will be appreciated.  Because there is a seed in himself, this act of love will start to catalyze or ripen that seed. 

So, our work becomes about trying to perfect the art of practicing love toward our own sef first, so that we have more love to share with others, especially those who have experienced very little. Every little act of love toward our own self will eventually ripple out to the rest of the world and have some positive impact sometime, somewhere.

In New York City where I live, we are constantly confronted by homeless people, and I sometimes wonder what kind of childhoods they had. I was fortunate in that I grew up in a family with parents who loved me unconditionally and showed me love in so many ways, whether it was by being touched tenderly or with kind words. As a child, I experienced caring and concern from those immediately around me. I know I was lucky. And it is obvious to me that many homeless people in our city likely didn’t receive the same kind of love and support. So, whether you live in a city like NYC or elsewhere, our job is to try to extend acts of love towards those who are so obviously less fortunate than ourselves. Who knows really what that could bloom into. Surely it can have a small, but not insignificant positive effect that could ripple out into the larger world.

The director, writer and composer, Jerry Brunskill said:

At the critical juncture in all human relationships, there is only one question: what would love do now?

I hope this question can be a guiding force for you as you go through your day and are faced with a myriad of decisions. What would love do in each moment for you as you “write your yoga blog” or think about your career choices, or interact with your beloveds? 

May you feel the natural rhythm of the Universe’s heart-beat pulsing through you, …
May you return to love of self over and over again, …
May you ask “What would love do now?” often, …
May your perfect that Art of Practicing Love, … 
For the benefit of all beings everywhere.

Aloha with Metta,
Paui Keoni Chun